


Perfectly Imperfect

by AnnaRaven



Series: Zombie Effect [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content, shenkosmutthursday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 00:03:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13845828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaRaven/pseuds/AnnaRaven
Summary: With zombies roaming the earth and every day a fight for survival, Kaidan knows he should have bigger things on his mind than John Shepard. Shame nobody had told his libido that..Zombie apocalypse AU written for Shenko Smut Thursday over on Tumblr. Some minor zombie violence but nothing too graphic.





	Perfectly Imperfect

Rotten, clutching fingers grasped at Kaidan’s clothes and he ignored the shudder of repulsion. Swinging his machete, he took off the hand with one blow and the top of the zombie’s head with the next.

Turning at the scrape of a footstep, Kaidan jammed the machete between the blood-flecked jaws homing in on his unprotected back. The skull split open with a wet squelching noise, a sickening slide of gore and brains spattering to the road. Kaidan ignored it, already looking for the next point of danger. He could see Jacob standing over several corpses and watched as Shepard swung his sturdy bat at a biter, the skull crumbling on impact. Beyond Shepard more of their companions stood in the road, but no biters; he paused, listened for the tell-tale moan of more enemies nearby, but all was quiet.

“Everyone okay?” Shepard asked, his keen blue eyes taking everything in, lingering a little longer on Kaidan.

There came a chorus of affirmation from Kaidan, Jacob and the others.

“Okay, back in the cars,” Shepard said. “We need to find a safe campsite by nightfall.”

*

Kaidan shivered as the cold water sluiced over his skin, a full-body shudder that left him exhilarated and gasping.

“Feels good to get clean, doesn’t it?” grinned Jacob, kneeling beside him at the river’s edge.

“Yeah,” Kaidan nodded, “so long as you don’t think for too long about what might be in the water.”

“It’s the cleanest water source we’ve found for a while so it’s all good with me,” Shepard said on Kaidan’s other side. “Plus it’s a great excuse to get you shirtless.”

Kaidan rolled his eyes, ignoring the heat prickling in his belly and the warmth in Shepard’s smile. “You never give up, do you?” 

Shepard shrugged and grinned, breaking into a laugh at Kaidan’s flustered blush.

Jacob chuckled. “Do you two need a moment?” he asked playfully.

“We need to collect some water, we have a camp to set up before nightfall,” Kaidan said, sidestepping the whole issue, ignoring Shepard’s frown.

When Jacob moved away to get the water jugs, Shepard stood and moved close to Kaidan. His shirt trailed from his fingertips and his damp skin reflected the waning light, shadows pooling around his defined abs, under his hard pecs. He saw Kaidan’s eyes lingering and said in a low voice, “Look, Kaidan - I don’t want to make you uncomfortable here but we’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now, ever since you guys found me out there. I want you, and I’m guessing you want me, so what’s the problem?”

Kaidan flushed, took a breath. “I just…I’ve never been someone who can take these things lightly, you know? I mean, I know that things are different now, but…”

Shepard nodded, took a step closer. “I get that, I do,” he said, his voice pitched low and gentle. “But I’m not asking you to marry me here. This world we live in now is harsh and brutal and cruel – shouldn’t we be grabbing every opportunity to be happy?”

“I don’t think I could take it if I let someone in, let myself feel something for them, and then had to watch them die,” Kaidan said softly.” You saw Wrex after we lost Eve – I’ve never seen anyone so broken.”

Shepard nodded, looked down. “Yeah. I know. But I’ve been watching you, Kaidan. You run around looking after everyone, making sure they have what they need, saving their lives day after day without asking anything in return. You’re wearing yourself thin for everyone else – I just want you to have something good for yourself.”

“I…um…I’ll think about it,” Kaidan said, suddenly desperate to get out from under that blue gaze, thankful for Jacob’s return.

The three men filled every container they had with cold, fresh water and began lugging it back the makeshift campsite. The others had made a circle of their vehicles and Miranda had built a fire in the middle of it, three skinned rabbits cooking over the flames on skewers made from thin, moistened branches. A pot sat in the embers of the fire, giving off a savoury scent that made Kaidan’s mouth water.

“That smells amazing,” he said, setting down the plastic water jugs he was carrying.

“Thanks,” Miranda smiled. “It’s just some water with herbs and wild mushrooms Mordin found in the forest. I’m hoping it’ll pass as soup once it’s done.”

“Sure it’s safe?” Shepard asked, raising a brow. “I know Mordin’s some kinda science whizz but he doesn’t strike me as the outdoors type.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Miranda said, and Kaidan noticed that her smile deepened; he pretended not to feel the spike in his gut.

“Where are the others?” Kaidan asked, pouring water into a metal pot and setting it to boil.

“Jack, Ash and Garrus went hunting, and Mordin went with Karin to do some laundry,” Miranda said, stirring the embers of the fire to stoke the flames. “Wrex is sitting in his camper, won’t come out. Believe it or not, Talitha’s in there with him.”

“She is?” Shepard asked, eyebrows rising.

“Yeah. She’s the only one he’ll let talk to him since Eve…” Miranda looked down, cleared her throat. 

Shepard nodded, smiling gently. “Huh. Well, that’s great. I’m glad she’s opening up to someone at last.”

As dark fell, the group gathered around the campfire, even Wrex emerging at the delicious smell of fresh game and mushroom soup. The portions were small, but there were greens to go with it and Garrus opened his last bottle of scotch, so there was an oddly contented atmosphere despite everything.

Kaidan found himself glancing at Shepard more than once as the group chatted, noticing how the fire set points of light in his eyes and danced over his cheekbones. Miranda sat to one side of Shepard, leaning into him, and Kaidan wondered again whether the two of them had ever slept together. Given Shepard’s attitude to sex, Kaidan guessed that they had. It was an unsettling thought, somehow.

To Shepard’s other side sat Talitha, the painfully thin teenage girl who Shepard had rescued sometime before Kaidan’s group found them. She’d never talked about what she’d been through, but Shepard had told Kaidan enough about the group he’d taken her from to suggest it had been an awful, painful time. She never said much at all, actually, which was why everyone went quiet instantly when she said, “Um, guys? I think…I mean, I’m not sure because how can anyone be sure now, right? But, um, I’ve been counting days and…I think today is my birthday.”

“Now, that is something to celebrate,” Jacob said, raising his chipped mug in a toast.

“Here, have a little of this,” Garrus said, standing and leaning across to pour an inch of scotch into Talitha’s glass. “Call it a rite of passage.”

“You don’t have to drink that,” Shepard said to her, his smile fond.

“I know,” she said, and her smile was more genuine than any Kaidan had seen since they’d met.

“Here,” Wrex said, fumbling in his pocket then holding out a massive hand to Talitha. “Happy birthday.”

Talitha took what he was offering, and Kaidan saw the glint of gold in her palm. Her eyes went wide and she tried to hand it back. “I can’t take this, Wrex – this is Eve’s.”

“Was,” Wrex said, taking a drink. “I bet she’d rather see it around your neck than stuffed in my pocket anyhow.” He looked at her, softened just a little. “She cared about you, midget. She’d give it to you herself if she was here.”

“I wish she was,” Talitha said, wrapping the necklace in her fist and leaning her head against his huge bicep.

“Yeah,” Wrex said, grief thickening his voice. “But you know, I’m trying to focus on being happy that I knew her. I wouldn’t want to have missed a single kiss from that woman, however much it hurts right now.”

Kaidan’s eyes sought out Shepard’s; the other man was looking down at Miranda.

*

Kaidan threw himself backwards as the rotten floorboards gave way with a shriek and a groan, scrabbling into the corner where the floor seemed to be holding. The warehouse they were scavenging had been past its prime even before the outbreak, and apparently it had had enough.

“Are you okay?” Shepard called through the dust cloud.

“Yeah, just might need a change of underwear,” Kaidan called back, his heart thumping hard. “How about you?”

“All good, this part of the floor’s on top of a beam so it’s holding,” Shepard replied.

As the dust settled, they could see that a narrow ledge around the edge of the room was all that was left of the floor, save for a few square feet by the door where Shepard stood.

“Throw me your backpack and get over here,” Shepard called. “That ledge looks like it should just about hold up.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” Kaidan grumbled, but did as Shepard suggested.

He was about halfway around the room when a zombie emerged from the stairwell behind Shepard, the wedge he’d kicked under the door scraping uselessly across the floor. Even as Kaidan shouted a warning, Shepard was spinning around to face the threat. The thing lurched towards Shepard and he had to grapple it to keep it away. Kaidan shuffled as fast as he could, but the narrowness of the ledge made speed impossible.

The floorboards groaned again and the section beneath the zombie screeched, then collapsed. It fell past Shepard, broken fingers clutching at the air. Just as Kaidan started to relax, one of its flailing hands caught the edge of the board Shepard stood on; the extra weight was just enough to rip out the ancient floorboard under his feet.

Shepard cried out as he began to fall, twisting in the air, desperately trying to grab something. Kaidan moved before he’d thought about it, throwing himself across the gap onto the solid stretch of flooring and reaching down to Shepard, grasping his wrist, pulling him back from the brink. He heaved with all his strength and Shepard clambered from the hole, getting tangled up in Kaidan as he pulled him clear.

The two men sprawled onto the dusty boards, gasping for air. Kaidan’s heart was beating painfully hard and he reached out for Shepard, holding his hand, reassuring himself that the other man was there and alive and unhurt.

“I thought I was…” Shepard stopped, took a deep breath and blew it out. He turned his head and said, “Thanks, Kaidan.”

In reply Kaidan rolled sideways and kissed him. “I thought so too,” he said against Shepard’s mouth, hands clutching the other man tightly. “I don’t want to waste another minute.”

Shepard’s eyes blazed as he leaned in and kissed Kaidan again. It was a hard kiss, all teeth and desperation, but Kaidan’s blood was racing and he just wanted more. When Shepard grabbed him and rolled him to his back, Kaidan went with it. Shepard’s lips seared a trail along his jaw, his weight a pleasing pressure along the length of Kaidan’s body. His hands fumbled with Kaidan’s clothes, fingertips brushing his stomach, and Kaidan’s cock jerked to attention. Those clever fingers went straight to it, grasping the hardening length through denim, and Kaidan gasped and squeezed his eyes shut.

When Shepard began to unfasten his jeans, Kaidan breathed, “Wait, here?”

“I want you, Kaidan,” Shepard said against his throat, rough and urgent, stubble scratching skin. “I need to feel alive.” Then his fingers were on Kaidan’s bare cock and every protest went out of his head.

Shepard nipped at Kaidan’s throat as his rough hand began to move, pulling gently, twisting just a little. Kaidan’s heart hammered, his pulse thumping under Shepard’s lips, his hands tightening on Shepard’s back. It felt so odd to be lying on his back in a collapsing warehouse, clothes shoved aside just enough; illicit, and dirty, and a little bit wrong. When he’d imagined being with Shepard, it was tucked up in sleeping bags in the camper or at the top of a guard tower where they’d have privacy, time, space. But he knew that this, imperfect as it may be, might be all he got to have with Shepard; it was a relief to finally give in, let Shepard touch him, admit how much he wanted it.

Kaidan laughed and groaned when Shepard’s hand sped up, his heels stuttering across the floor. Shepard kissed him again, a little more gentle but also a little more urgent. Kaidan forced a hand between their bodies, tucking it under Shepard’s sweater then under his waistband. It was all going too quickly, he wanted to notice and savour every moment, but he was rapidly approaching the edge of his control and he wanted to take Shepard with him. Shepard sighed brokenly against his mouth and Kaidan’s pulse spiked, his balls tightening. Shepard’s dick was hard and hot in his hand; Kaidan wanted to see it, to admire it, to take it in his mouth and make up for lost time; it was that image which sent him spiralling into orgasm.

Shepard grinned as Kaidan came in urgent bursts between them, but then his eyes fell closed and his breath hitched when Kaidan began to stroke him faster, rougher, urging him to follow after. He dropped his head to the crook of Kaidan’s neck, the stubble of his scalp scratchy and soft. Fierce triumph pierced Kaidan’s chest when he heard Shepard groan, felt his cock stutter in his hand, knowing that he was the one who’d brought him that perfect moment of pleasure.

For a painful moment, now that the urgency of desire was gone, there came a creeping sense of dread, almost regret, that he’d managed to ruin a good friendship. But then Shepard lifted his head, pupils blown, grinning widely, and kissed Kaidan softly. He pressed their foreheads together and murmured, “That was fun, but next time I wanna see what I’m playing with.”

Kaidan laughed, reached up to touch Shepard’s cheekbone. “Deal.”

And just like that he knew they’d be okay.


End file.
